A few months ago, I kept thinking to myself how off I felt. Exhausted, overwhelmed, irritated so easily. Just overall burnt out. I didn’t feel like myself at all. It was challenging even dragging myself out of bed in the morning, but I couldn’t figure out why. I had things I enjoyed and nothing had changed in my life (so I thought), but something just seemed off. Like I wasn’t fully living authentically. Even my yoga practice felt more like just motions than the rinse and reset I was used to.
As I was running around one day from place to place doing all the things, it hit me – I really needed to stop and reflect. I was driving and hadn’t even put the music on. I was craving the silence without even realizing it. In that moment, the self-talk was loud, yelling at me the same question I’ve asked times before: “Is this even in alignment with what really matters to me, with what I truly value?”
It wasn’t what I was doing that wasn’t lining up – it was how I was showing up. I wasn’t unmotivated, lazy, failing. But I wasn’t living in line with one of my strongest values – living with presence.
What Values Actually Are (And Why They Matter)
Values aren’t goals or checklists. They’re not “achievement vibes.” Values are the deep-down ways you want to show up in the world. They’re how you want to live – even when things feel chaotic or hard. They are your compass, the North Star for how you want to show up in your own life. What will lead to fulfillment and a happy, authentic existence.
They’re not about perfection. They’re about direction.
Your values are what you live – not green check marks you tick off. They guide how to show up in real life, not in ideal circumstances. When it is tough. When you don’t always want to. When there is distraction and conflict, your values keep you on the path.
What do these values look like?
Think:
Valuing presence as a parent
A balanced life where you take rest without guilt
Leading with courage to take risks and go for it
Saying the hard truth because integrity matters to you
Connecting and creating with and for others – because that feels like you.
How We Lose the Compass
It isn’t that one day we just wake up and make a conscious choice to no longer follow our purpose and what matters to us. It’s a slow drift that sneaks up on us, without really noticing.
And it isn’t all that difficult to happen. We get stuck in cycles – the workload increases, it’s hard to say no to the expectations, the to-do list keeps growing – and all the while, we are just trying to keep it all together. Somewhere at that point, the muddled mess in our heads fogs the path in front of us, and instead of consciously making the choices to keep moving in that direction, we shift into reacting. No longer making choices, but instead reacting to the choices that end up being made for us.
And sometimes, there’s a benefit to this… It helps us avoid discomfort – fear, vulnerability, self-doubt – but we end up avoiding our values too.
This was my story. I looked like I had it “together” on the outside, but inside I was feeling completely disconnected. I’d drifted from what mattered to me: presence, balance, connection – with myself and the people that mattered to me, and being of service to a larger community.
Signs You Might Be Out of Alignment
Now, this does NOT mean you’re doing something wrong. But if you feel these describe you, it might be a sign you need to stop and rethink what path you are on:
Do you feel constantly tired and drained? Like you are operating on autopilot? Do you feel your actions and words are reactive instead of intentional? Does your purpose feel far away?
Have you lost touch with your why?
Remember – NONE of that means you are broken. It means it’s time to check in – with yourself, with your path – and see if you can take the wheel again, even in small ways.
And this doesn’t mean everything in your life needs to be evaluated. It doesn’t even mean you’ll make completely different choices. What it does mean is you will become clear – and make those choices with intention.
Even if it is just 5% in that direction – small steps equal big changes.
So, How Do You Realign?
This is where Life by Design begins.
Not with a dramatic overhaul.
Not with quitting your job or reinventing yourself.
But with intention.
Realignment isn’t about changing everything.
It’s about consciously choosing what you’re building your life around.
Because if you don’t design your days around your values, they will automatically get designed around urgency, expectation, and noise.
Life by Design means stepping out of reaction mode and back into authorship.
Here’s how that starts:
1. Decide What This Season Is About
Instead of asking, “How do I get everything done?”
Ask:
- What do I want this season of life to stand for?
- What matters most right now?
- Who do I want to be in the middle of this full life?
Clarity creates direction.
And direction reduces overwhelm.
When you decide the theme of your season – presence, courage, steadiness, connection – your decisions begin filtering themselves.
2. Audit Your Life Honestly
Life by Design requires honesty.
Look at your calendar. Your routines. Your energy.
- What reflects your values?
- What contradicts them?
- What are you doing out of habit, guilt, or fear?
- Where are you saying yes when your values are whispering no?
This isn’t about judgment.
It’s about awareness.
You’re not trying to burn it all down.
You’re identifying where small structural shifts could create deeper alignment.
3. Redesign One Small Piece
Here’s where most people get stuck – they think alignment requires a massive leap.
It doesn’t.
It requires one intentional adjustment.
Maybe it’s:
- Protecting 10 minutes of undistracted presence each morning.
- Removing one commitment that drains you.
- Blocking one evening a week for rest.
- Having the honest conversation you’ve been avoiding.
Design is built in micro-decisions.
When you intentionally adjust even 5% of your life toward what matters most, you stop drifting.
You start directing.
Realignment is not about becoming someone new.
It’s about returning to yourself – and then building your life in a way that supports that version of you.
That’s Life by Design.
Not performing wellness.
Not adding more to your already full life.
But intentionally structuring your days around your values – so your life feels aligned not just in theory, but in practice.
And that’s when fulfillment stops feeling far away.
It starts feeling like something you’re actively creating.
And remember: when you start living in line with your values – life doesn’t become perfect.
But it does feel more intentionally like yours.
And that is pretty perfect.
Formally - The Mindful Path